Bear with me for this post, it follows on from my last post on letting go of expectations and I’m hoping it proves cathartic for me. Recently I upset a friend, I told her the truth about a situation and her reaction was not what I expected, it didn’t fit my framework of how an adult and a friend should react in that particular instance. To be completely honest, her reaction really disappointed me. If you read my last post you’ll be seeing a recurring theme here… I had an expectation, the reality was different and I ended up disappointed.
To say that this interaction has been playing on my mind would be an understatement and it got me thinking what exactly was it about my friend’s reaction that upset me. It wasn’t necessarily the reaction itself, it was more my history with this friend.
Yoga constantly teaches us to be in the present, however in every interaction we have with friends, family and partners we build up an arsenal of past arguments and annoyances. This is something I struggle with quite a bit, I’m still not sure why I’m holding on to this arsenal but encounters like this are a perfect chance for self-enquiry. We are not our past, sure it got us to where we are but we live there. We are not our future, all we are is our present. I know I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, and I’m sure I will be a different person again in another 10 years but I can’t interact like the person I was then or the person I will be in the future, all I can do is be present-day Larah.
The lesson for me from this encounter with my friend is to try and remain present, drop the baggage of past interactions and remember that her reaction is not personal and is likely formed from a whole gamut of things happening in her life.